“You can resume normal activities.”

I wasn’t looking forward to Monday, February 17, 2025. I knew what was coming.

For the next 48 hours, I was to be flat on my back. The only exceptions—restroom and meals.

I knew this drill because in December of 2023, I had surgery on my left eye to address Fuchs Dystrophy and cataracts.

To put it simply, Fuchs Dystrophy is when a person’s cornea begins to misbehave. My eye doctor had been tracking this behavior for a few years. After an exam, the comment was always the same—“you’re not ready yet.”

When you’re ready, the surgeon makes arrangements to secure a healthy cornea from a donation bank, and then the surgeon works his magic.

This morning, the plan was the same, but the focus would be my right eye.

I had completed the pre-surgery prep. A laser is used to zap a small entry point into my right eye. This is followed by a regimen of eye drops to prep the eye for the surgery.

The Commander Supreme and I had an uneventful drive to the surgery center. We parked and walked into the large waiting room.

The room was packed. I’m certain this facility is a cash cow.

Since, I had already signed my life away, the check-in process wasn’t very cumbersome. On a monitor, we could see my name, and track its positioning with the other patients. It wasn’t too long before a nurse came into the lobby, and called my name.

She gave a few instructions to the Commander, and then I was on my way.

The nurse and I chatted to the staging area. She asked many questions to ensure that I had followed the required protocols.

I had one last shot at bladder relief before stretching out on the gurney. A preheated blanket greeted my feet, and the magic touch of the nurse properly positioned my old sack of bones. My right eye was marked to alleviate whacking out the wrong part of my body.

My vitals were cooperating, and soon the knockout doctor appeared. Again more questions, and a short while later I was out.

When I awoke, I slowly noticed I had a dull throbbing pain in my left eye. It seemed like forever before anyone stopped again to check on me. I let them know about the eye pain, and they were perplexed.

I continued to wait. The longer I waited the more anxious I became. I didn’t remember waiting this long the last time.

Another check on me, I asked how much longer? I guess I was like a kid on a long road trip with his family—are we there yet?

Soon, the knockout doctor returned. Something was removed from the left side of my face, and the pain around my left eye immediately disappeared. He asked me if I was ready for some more sleepy juice, and I said yes.

I couldn’t feel anything, but I do recall the doctor working on my right eye.

I don’t remember the ride, but the gurney was wheeled back to the spot where I started. And it wasn’t long before my left eye could see the Commander Supreme.

At some point, we learned that the surgery went well. The patch over my eye could be removed for the drops, and we had a chart for recording the dispensing of the drops.

My post-surgery appointment on Tuesday morning would reveal more.

I was alert now, alert enough to know I needed a pit stop. I was transitioned to a wheelchair and wheeled to the restroom.

Back in the wheel chair, a nice nurse pushed me out to the departure circle. The Commander was waiting for us.

With the seat reclined, I entered the car, connected the seatbelt, and we headed for home.

I’m a very lucky person. My back rarely causes me any stress, but my back doesn’t like being flat for 48 hours.

The last time I had this surgery, my back was the challenge, and unfortunately, this time, my back again chose to bother me.

No matter how pillows were used in support of my legs and feet, my back tightened and cramped. I had permission to take Ibuprofen and Extra Strength Tylenol. They dulled the pain, but the aching never totally disappeared.

That first night, I’m certain Alexa was just as happy as I when morning arrived. I kept making requests, and Alexa kept playing the music.

A bit after eight, we started the drive to the doctor’s office. It is a different passenger experience being reclined in a moving car.

With my eye still covered with its patch, we made our way into the waiting area. I was a bit uneasy.

When I was called back, the first nurse to assess me learned quickly that I had barely any vision in my right eye. I don’t remember this from the previous surgery, but this time the absence of vision was alarming to me.

My eye picked up light, but that was all. It was like there was a film covering my eye.

She didn’t seemed too concern.

Next the doctor came in. He took a look through the fancy machine, and he liked what he saw. The four sutures were in place, and the inserted bubble in my eye was still helping to hold the needed pressure.

The doctor showed the Commander how to monitor the bubble. If everything worked properly, the bubble gradually disappears.

We didn’t pepper him with too many questions, and before leaving we set up the appointment to have the sutures removed in a week.

During the remainder of Tuesday, somehow, my back and I tolerated each other. Waiting for dawn the second night seemed longer. Once again, Alexa honored my music requests.

On Wednesday, I continued to go for flat time. I didn’t want anything to go wrong with the surgery. Late on Wednesday afternoon, I took a shower. There is nothing like a shower for a weary soul.

By late Saturday afternoon, Betsy had good news—the bubble was gone.

On Thursday, February 27, I drove myself to the appointment. When the nurse started checking my right eye vision, she was pleased. This morning, I could read letters to her from large to very small.

When the doctor came in, he was pleased with what he saw too. Some drops were applied to numb the right eye, and now he was ready to remove the four sutures.

Once the sutures were out, I was given some different instructions for the eyedrops, and then I heard the best news from the doctor: “Your post-operative progress is ahead of schedule, you can resume normal activities.”

I was elated.

I thanked him and the nurse, and I made an appointment to come back in a month. I hope my progress continues.

This whole process amazes me.

According to the National Library of Medicine, the first corneal transplant dates back to 1905. An Austrian, Dr. Eduard Zim, used his ophthalmologist skills to perform that surgery in what is now known as the Czech Republic.

Since that surgery, countless doctors have been involved in improving and refining the process. I can’t begin to imagine figuring out the need for a tissue bank, the special tools needed to suture inside an eye, developing the eye drops, and how to use a laser to form an opening for the surgery to take place.

Why can we figure out this complicated surgical procedure, but we can’t figure out how to bring a lasting peace to every corner of the world? What is wrong with us? What have we to fear from a lasting peace?

In this process, I’m thankful for the care provided to me by the Commander Supreme, the meals from neighbors and friends, and heartfelt prayers.

And in both surgeries, I’m appreciative of the skills from the doctors, nurses, and support staffs.

But more importantly, I’m deeply appreciative of the family who made the decision to donated the cornea to the tissue bank.

How can I be so lucky and others are not?

I wonder how the good Lord might answer that question?

Eye drops and eye shield. (Photo Bill Pike)

Author’s post surgery note: Today, March 27, I had my one month appointment with the eye surgeon. Everything looks good, and he has released me. Again, I’m so thankful.

Post Christmas 2024: Welcome to the family Tom and Linda

It was after midnight when I arrived back at our home on Christmas Eve.

The last worship service had started at 11 p.m.

No cleaning up the sanctuary this evening, I’ll carve out time for that on Thursday.

For now, it was turning out lights, securing doors, turning down thermostats, and alarming the building.

A bit after ten on the morning of Thursday, December 26, I made the short walk to Trinity.

The building was quiet. This was a holiday for our staff.

We had a small wedding scheduled for Friday afternoon.

I needed to touch up the Sanctuary from our four Christmas Eve worship services. That included making sure the restrooms were in good shape too.

Around one o’clock, with the tidying up completed, I started my walk back home.

I crossed over the creek on Stuart Hall Road. Safely crossed the quiet Baldwin Road. Worked my way up the steep Stuart Hall Road hill, and at the top merged into Sweetbriar Road.

As my feet turned me into our driveway, I noticed a red envelope on our front porch. I walked over, picked it up, and entered the house via the side entrance.

The infamous envelope (Photo Bill Pike)

In the eat in kitchen, family members were finishing up lunch. I handed the envelope to my wife, the Commander Supreme, to open.

The envelope was addressed to Betsy and Bill Pike. No address, and no return address.

Inside was a nice Hallmark Christmas card with this message on the cover: “Love is an amazing thing, if you pass it on, there’s no stopping it.”

The Hallmark wisdom (Photo Bill Pike)

On the inside the Hallmark message was: “Sending love to you. At Christmas and always.”

Additionally, there was a handwritten note: “Bill and Betsy, Merry Christmas!! We heard all the children will be in town after Christmas, that is wonderful. We hope to see you soon. Treat the Grandkids!” Tom and Linda

The heartfelt note (Photo Bill Pike)

The ability to treat the grandkids would come from the one hundred dollar bill that was also inside the card.

The Commander and I were stunned and dumbfounded. We knew some Toms and Lindas, but our brains could not figure out a couple in our circle of friends named Tom and Linda.

For several minutes, we racked our brains,

The Commander insisted that we had no one in our address book listed as Tom and Linda.

Her insistence was that the card must have come from someone at church. Someone that knew me, but maybe who also knew the Commander on the periphery.

I scanned through the church directory. I found Toms, but no Lindas, or I found Lindas, but no Toms.

Our two daughters, Lauren and Elizabeth, chimed in with possible suggestions, but we had no match for Tom and Linda.

The Commander suggested Richmond writer, Tom Allen, as the possible delivery man, but his wife isn’t a Linda.

Again, the Commander reiterated that Tom and Linda must be from Trinity. She thought of a Linda from Trinity that we both knew. But, I reminded the Commander that Linda passed away a few years ago.

Even our two grandchildren, Caroline and Hudson, chuckled at the back and forth banter.

In silence, our son-in-law, Doug, watched the unproductive search for Tom and Linda. Elizabeth’s friend Jackson was a quiet observer too.

Like a bulldog with a bone locked in his jaws, the Commander was convinced that Tom and Linda had a Trinity connection. She encouraged me to reach out to my fellow staff member and family friend, Judy Oguich, to see if she could identify Tom and Linda.

With my search of the Trinity directory complete, I was walking out of the kitchen to return the directory to its resting place. That’s when our youngest daughter, Elizabeth, shouted out: “Christmas prank.”

The Commander and I had been duped. Even our grandchildren, Caroline and Hudson, knew this was a prank.

Shocked by this elaborate deception, we did the only thing we could do— shook our heads in disbelief and laughed.

For the next few minutes, the clever schemers revealed that the idea had come from an internet prank.

The names Tom and Linda were the parents of a friend where Lauren and her family live in Summerfield, North Carolina.

Elizabeth at some point on Thursday morning had purchased the card.

Her friend Jackson addressed the envelope and scribbled the note inside. He also provided the one hundred dollar bill. Jackson was concerned about his loaned investment. He was assured that the one hundred dollar bill would be returned to him once the scam had been completed, and it was.

Deep inside, Elizabeth knew that I would see the envelope on the front porch. She also knew my instincts— that I would pick it up, bring it inside, and hand it off to the Commander Supreme which is exactly what transpired.

I’m still trying to figure out how Caroline and Hudson played their roles so well. Like everyone else in the room no one gave a hint that a prank was at play.

In retrospect, we should have suspected something. Unnoticed by the Commander and me was our daughter, Lauren, who was inconspicuous in using her iPhone to film her floundering parents.

When I was a high school English teacher, I loved introducing students to American writer and humorist, James Thurber. His quote about humor has stayed with me: “Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.”

For about fifteen minutes there was a baffling mental chaos taking place between the Commander and me. That chaos was stirred by some timely prodding from Elizabeth and Lauren.

Yet, since Thursday, in a couple of quiet, tranquil moments, I have found myself chuckling as I relive the pranked script.

For the rest of our lives, Tom and Linda have become a part of our family.

Their legacy has already been appearing— I wonder if Tom and Linda will stop by this afternoon, or maybe will see Tom and Linda at the Jefferson on Friday.

Not wanting to lose the euphoria of having pranked her parents, on Friday afternoon during our annual visit to the Jefferson Hotel, Elizabeth snookered her unsuspecting brother, Andrew, into the prank. Initially, Andrew bit, but not as fully as his clueless parents.

The best part of Tom and Linda’s fifteen minutes of fame is they made us laugh.

In a mentally healthy way, my hope for you, me, we, us is that gentle humor and laughter will find an entry point into your life. Good Lord knows, we all need to laugh to take the sting out of a tough day.

Perhaps like me, since Sunday, you have been taking in the news coverage of the passing of Jimmy Carter.

While we were watching the evening news, a reporter was revisiting Mr. Carter’s devotion to his church and God.

In this segment Mr. Carter was asked about God and his ability to answer prayers.

Here is what Mr. Carter said: “God always answers prayers. Sometimes it’s yes. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes it’s you gotta be kidding.”

Mr. Carter’s answer was perfect, especially, “you gotta be kidding.” That last line made me laugh.

Tom and Linda made us laugh.

Maybe the irony of them becoming a part of our family is linked back to the words on the cover of the Hallmark card: “Love is an amazing thing, if you pass it on, there’s no stopping it.”

There is no kidding about the power of love. I’ve been fortunate to have been surrounded by love my entire life.

Jimmy Carter knew the power of love.

He humbly lived it his whole life.

I hope in 2025, my old heart can be better at embracing the power of love and passing it on.

I think Tom and Linda would like that, and so would Mr. Carter.

Thanks to all you readers of Might Be Baloney, love you all, be safe, Bill Pike