might be baloney

One of the first things that people asked me from being on Maui was about the devastating fire that hit the island. Our stop in Kahului was on the north central side of the island. The fire that destroyed Lahaina is on Maui’s western shore.

However, our tour guide, Dom, did point out a few sections on our excursion today where fire had impacted homes and forest areas.

Dom was an excellent young guide. He drove the small bus and narrated in great detail. In one roadside spot, he pointed out a blossoming peach tree that was starting to show its young fruit. I never thought I would see a peach tree in Hawaii, but Dom had an eye for such things.

Our first stop was at the Tao Valley State Monument. This is a lush area for vegetation and a pretty rocky creek. But the main attraction is Kukaemoku, the Iao Needle. Eroded up out of the valley’s floor, it stands in at 1200 feet. Covered in greenery, this rock formation blends in nicely with the other pointed hills surrounding the small park.

There is a paved walk through the park, and that walk way provides multiple sightings of exotic plants, trees, and the creek.

Once back in the bus, Dom continued his narrative as we drove toward Kula Botanical Garden. Again, we learned lots from his research and insights regarding local customs, history, and scenery.

It wasn’t long before Dom was parking the bus at the Kula Botanical Garden.

Located in the upcountry of Maui, the gardens were started in 1968 by Warren and Helen McCord. The concept behind the garden was grounded in Mr. McCord’s “landscape architecture business.” There is a lot packed in the eight acres on the slopes of Haleakala.

This was also our stop for lunch. Dom had everything ready and organized for us. There was ample shaded seating for lunch, and we enjoyed eating outside in such a pretty location. A gift shop and restrooms are a part of the entry area too.

We enjoyed our stroll through the Garden. The variety of plantings along with rock formations, a koi pond, and other landscaped features made for a good visit. The other factor was Dom. He set up us for success giving us plenty of time to explore at an easy pace.

Before we knew it, Dom gathered us back up for the ride over to the Lavender Farm.

Established in 2001, the Alii Kula Lavender Farm is a pretty place. Almost fourteen acres, the farm rests easily on the slopes of the Haleakala at an elevation of four thousand feet.

No matter where I turn, I have nice views.

While lavender isn’t native to Hawaii, the owners tell us that the plant has adapted nicely to the island’s climate. At the farm, “relaxation, rejuvenation, and renewal” are emphasized while taking in the 55,000 lavender plants. That inventory includes 20 varieties of lavender.

We learned that lavender is a true summer bloomer. But the farm does feature nine varieties that grow throughout the year. So, we did pickup that lavender fragrance.

Lavender isn’t the only show at the garden. Olive trees and a variety of other plants are woven into farm’s pretty grounds. Yes, there is a gift shop with lots of selections.

While waiting for our group to reassemble, I heard one lady comment about Wisconsin. In July, three of my college friends and I are planning a trip to Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Over a half million people attend the annual air show in Oshkosh.

At a pause in her conversation with a friend, I asked her about where she lived in Wisconsin, and explained the upcoming trip to Oshkosh.

Turns out, I was talking with Mary Sykes, whose husband, Ed Sykes, is a retired United States Air Force fighter pilot from the Vietnam War. Mary was familiar with the air show in Oshkosh, and stated they have friends who own a B-29 bomber from World War ll.

As we kept talking, I learned that Ed had written a book about one of his experiences during the Vietnam War. Mary and I exchanged our contact information, and my goal was to meet Ed before the end of the cruise and purchase a copy of his book.

With everyone accounted for by Dom, we were back in the bus heading toward the ship.

Secretly, I was hoping that Dom would keep driving us around these pretty uplands with their quiet, easy pace. But since the ship was scheduled to sail out at six, I knew that couldn’t happen.

At our first stop for the day, I had taken a picture of a plaque designating the Tao Valley State Monument as a National Natural Landmark. Cast in 1972, these words caught my attention:


“This site possesses exceptional value as an illustration of the nation’s natural heritage and contributes to a better understanding of the environment.”

Clearly, our three stops today have a commitment to better understand our environment. I hope I can become better at understanding and preserving special places like these on our precious Earth.

As I write this at 5:21 a.m. on Friday, June 28, 2024, a person somewhere in your neighborhood, county, city, state, country, and world will die from death by suicide today.

Just a short drive from our home, on the morning of June 24, a woman jumped from the Parham Road bridge into the on coming traffic on I-64.

According to news reports, local police had responded to calls from concerned citizens about a woman on the bridge. Police responded. They attempted a dialogue. She jumped.

The world has a way of closing in on us.

Sometimes it is relentless in its pursuit.

It pushes.

It nudges.

It whispers to weary souls.

It wears a person down.

Darkness is everywhere.

That darkness blocks out light.

That darkness crushes hope.

Life becomes unbearable.

I can’t imagine what this woman was going through.

The same goes for the woman’s family, I can’t imagine.

I can’t imagine how the motorists, police officers, and first responders feel from watching a person end her life.

To be truthful, I’ve seen the impact of death by suicide.

My wife’s oldest sister, a beloved elementary school secretary, the daughter of dear neighbors, the son of another neighbor, the son of a co-worker, and the lives of parents and students in thirty one years of work in our public schools.

Despite time, hearts never forget and heal from those losses.

Even at 71, I still marvel at the sight of a commercial jet airliner flying over our neighborhood as the pilot lines the plane up for its final approach into the Richmond airport.

That big jet is a complicated machine.

Human beings are complicated too.

We are wired like that big plane.

Wires run throughout its frame.

Wires run through our human frame too.

The life of that plane and of human beings is dependent upon all that wiring.

That jet goes through a series of required safety inspections. Trained technicians, sometimes with special equipment scan those wires. They know the smallest fray in a wire can cause a life changing safety problem for the passengers and crew aboard the plane.

For a long, long time, we have known how important mental health is to the wiring of human beings. And while we can x-ray, scan, and MRI our internal wiring, often that scrutiny can’t catch the deeper struggles of the human soul.

We know it doesn’t take much for our human wiring to wear, to fray, to overheat, and meltdown. At that point, its too late to intervene because the dark demon inside our human frames has us locked on automatic pilot for the end of life.

I’m no expert on death by suicide.

But, I sense that individuals who commit to this devastating decision struggled during their lives to fit in. They just couldn’t find their place in life.

Early in life, when playing with blocks, we learn how to properly fit the shapes into the corresponding openings. But as a human being, if I’m an odd-shaped quadrilateral, I might struggle to find my opening, my place in life.

Back on the afternoon of Sunday, June 2, my cousin, Roger Pike, via email announced that his younger brother, George, had passed away.

Part of me believes that George struggled to find his fit in life.

In these losses, often siblings and family members are quick to blame themselves for not being able to help their loved one.

While I understand their guilt, the real truth is that you, me, we, us are tangled in that loss too.

What did I do to help George find his fit?

What did I do to help George battle his demons?

How did I interact with him at family gatherings over the years?

Did I convey to George that I cared?

The answer is no. I could have been better.

A celebration of George’s life was held in Pleasant Garden, North Carolina on the afternoon of Saturday, June 29.

It was June miserable in terms of high temperature and humidity. Even if you were in the shade, with a barely discernible breeze gently rustling tree leaves, you were dripping in sweat.

A large crowd of Clapps, Pikes, and friends had gathered to honor George.

Roger and his pretty companion, Kelly, had opened their home for food and fellowship.

Even in the sweltering heat Roger manned a grill cooking hamburgers and hot dogs. Family and guests provided all the required condiments, side dishes, and desserts.

As the food was just about ready, Roger circled us all up.

He spoke directly from his heart. Roger’s brief, sincere words conveyed his love for his brother, George.

Our cousin, Alice, commented about the photo display put together by George’s sister, Debbie. Alice noted that we all battle our demons, and despite George’s battles the family photos of George always captured his smile.

Then Roger called on a friend to offer a prayer, and the words were perfect.

In 1988, The Traveling Wilburys released their first single “Handle With Care.”

The band consisted of Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Jeff Lynne, Roy Orbison, and Tom Petty. The song is about how life batters us.

At the end of the chorus a tough question is asked:
“I’m so tired of being lonely, I still have some love to give,
won’t you show me that you really care?”

When it comes to mental health, I’m overdue in being sensitive to the needs of those I encounter every day. I need to be better in showing my care.

Maybe I would be wise to remember that each person I encounter has somewhere in their wiring a sign hanging that states “handle me with care.”

Author’s note: Remember, the suicide and crisis lifeline, 988, is available for anyone 24/7.

The good Lord knows I’m an imperfect soul.

On the morning of Sunday, June 16, I proved it.

I was out for a run. I was on Westham Parkway. My road position was left side facing traffic next to the shoulder of the road.

To my left, I noted a bicycle rider pedaling up a hill on a side street. The rider was an adult and not wearing a helmet.

I curiously shouted out to him, “where is your helmet?”

The rider shouted back to me, “whatever.”

And I responded with “have a nice day.”

I know my original question agitated him. He kept spewing unintelligible words.

As I kept running, I thought about how I might respond if the rider rode up behind me.

Clearly, I was out of line with my helmet question.

But despite my long list of imperfections, I do try to adhere to the well-established basic rules of the road.

And in my attempt to follow the rules of the road, I’m perplexed at how many instances I come across where other drivers, walkers, runners, bicycle and motorcycle riders disregard rules designed to protect all of us.

Thursday afternoon May 23, I was on I-95 north. I was on my way home from a Habitat For Humanity Unity Build celebration. Two motorcycle riders traveling at a high rate of speed were weaving in and out of the narrow openings in the lanes between cars. Seemingly, they had no concern about their unsafe maneuvering.

Saturday, morning May 25, I was at our church in the Veterans Memorial Garden. I was weeding. I looked up, a car had just turned on to Forest Avenue from Rock Creek Road. The driver waved a friendly wave, and I waved back. A few seconds later, I looked up Forest Avenue and witnessed a driver speeding past the friendly waver. To accomplish the passing, this impatient driver crossed over the double yellow lines on a blind incline.

Last week, my wife and I were returning from visiting friends in Maryland. We were stopped at an intersection that had a clearly posted sign—no right turn on red. Three consecutive drivers approached the red stoplight, and made the right on red.

On the same morning, I asked my bike helmet question, I drove up behind a neighbor walking his dog. The neighbor was walking with traffic. I saw him as I came around a slight curve and incline. The wrong driver, and the wrong set of circumstances, my neighbor and his loyal dog could have been turned into pancakes on the asphalt.

I am perplexed at our disregard for basic rules of the road. Why do we want to jeopardize our safety?

How many times have you been at a stop light, stop sign, or yield sign, and witnessed a close call because another driver barreled through in total disregard of the basic rule of the road?

Where does this disregard and disrespect for ourselves and others come from?

Where has our sense of responsibility, cooperation, and compliance gone?

Are these qualities following the same decline as dignity, civility, decorum, and respect?

How much of this erosion comes from our elected officials?

What does it say about a country whose justice system finds a former president guilty on 34 felony counts, and a few days later supporters of this person have raised $52 million dollars toward electing him into office again.

What does it say about a country and its inability to solve its longstanding drug and firearm problems to have the son of our current president convicted of three felonies related to drugs, firearms, and neglect for telling the truth.

What does it say about a country where a representative in a congressional hearing can verbally attack Dr. Anthony Fauci with these remarks: “You’re not a doctor. You’re Mr. Fauci.” Followed by “I don’t need your answer. You should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity.”

No matter if it is a basic safety rule of the road, 34 felonies, 3 felonies, or belittling a fellow citizen, we recklessly and without conscience— disregard.

America has never been perfect in attempting to form a more perfect union. Sooner or later our imperfections surface.

At this moment, our flaws are directly in front of us, and it is as if we are wearing blinders, unwilling to acknowledge their presence.

Helen Keller once stated: “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

How many times in my life have I had sight, but no vision?

Yes, I was out of line asking the bicycle rider my helmet question.

Yet, his “whatever” response aligns with Helen Keller’s wisdom—the bicycle rider had sight, but no vision for the potential danger he put himself in during his ride.

Our vision can’t disregard the challenges our country is facing.

Nor can our lack of vision let our response to these challenges be “whatever.”

On the afternoon of Thursday, May 23, I was driving toward Mt. Tabor Baptist Church on Fairmount Avenue in Richmond. At 5:30, a celebration related to the Richmond Metropolitan Habitat For Humanity’s (RMHFH) Unity Build would be taking place.

Guided by Richmond Habitat’s Community Engagement Manager, Burdette Robinson, the Habitat Faith Council team has been planning this event for months. Other than an increase in Richmond’s humidity, we had a pretty afternoon for the gathering.

The celebration was being hosted by the congregation and staff at Mt. Tabor Baptist. The church’s parking lot gave the celebration an accessible meeting spot and prime visibility on Fairmount Avenue.

Our team and the church members worked to set up a couple of tents, tables, chairs, and signage in the neighborhood. Food was provided by The Market At 25th.

For entertainment. Richmond’s best crowd pleaser, Jonathan The Juggler, kept us curious with his tricks and made us laugh with his humor. Madelyn Peay, Executive Director for Habitat, provided insightful comments about the organization’s work. Additionally, we met the new homeowner who will be moving into the Unity Build house this summer.

For the Unity Build, 24 houses of worship, nonprofits, and business pledged $42,000 toward this project. Richmond Metropolitan Habitat for Humanity serves the city of Richmond, and Henrico and Chesterfield counties. Director Peay shared how RMHFH is working to address the challenges they face in providing affordable housing.

Finding land and the rising cost of construction materials have pushed RMHFH to become even more strategic in implementing their plans. This means making the most of their limited financial resources.

In looking to the future, RMHFH leaders recognize the importance of equity, inclusiveness, diversity, innovation, and sustainability. These attributes apply to their day to day mission in working with homeowners, volunteers, partners, Habitat’s two retail outlets(ReStores), in-house systems, and Habitat employees.

It was clear from Executive Peay’s comments that she and her team are committed to helping solve the housing crisis in our communities. And to experience that commitment firsthand, we had the privilege of hearing from Erica her story about becoming a homeowner.

Erica’s journey is one of determined perseverance. For ten years, she and her family lived in a wide range of housing environments. Challenges with mold, infestation, and unkept properties made life difficult for her family. Despite these hardships, Erica never stopped pursuing her goal to become a homeowner.

As a part of the celebration’s program, all guests along with Executive Peay and Erica had the opportunity to make the short walk to the new house.

The house’s design fits the neighborhood. With the walk through, it was clear to see how the layout will meet the family’s needs in a practical and sustainable manner.

More importantly, we could all sense Erica’s pride in her pending ownership. She talked about the 350 hours of her personal “sweat equity” that she has invested in volunteering on her own house, other Richmond Habitat homes, and in the ReStores.

On the morning of Saturday, June 1, I saw that “sweat equity” in person. I was one of the five Unity Build volunteers with Erica and Habitat supervisor, Zoey. For six hours, we made steady progress working on the house.

Solving our housing crisis in Richmond, Henrico, and Chesterfield will require constant work and cooperation. I’m no expert on housing, but I have questions for the nonprofit housing experts in the Richmond area:

Do the leaders of these housing nonprofits regularly communicate with each other?

Are there opportunities for these housing experts to collaborate on housing projects?

Do these housing leaders communicate with the mayor and county managers about joining forces?

Since land is in demand, what do we know about empty lots, parcels of land, boarded up homes and buildings in our communities? Are there tax incentives that could be offered to land and property owners that would free these areas for affordable housing?

How do our housing nonprofits find ways to work cooperatively with media outlets to tell their success stories while also conveying the urgency of the affordable housing crisis?

And finally, how do housing nonprofits communicate their needs for volunteers?

I sense our housing leaders and their teams have practical knowledge and successful templates in place to continue to address our affordable housing shortage.

Yet, I wonder if the urgency of this shortage could benefit from more collaboration between our established housing nonprofits and our local municipalities.

That Unity Build celebration on May 23, started with a simple conversation between RMHFH and the leaders at Mt. Tabor Baptist.

Could a simple conversation between housing and municipality leaders help us to find the path to meet the needs of more potential homeowners like Erica?

I hope that conversation can happen soon.

As a lifelong Methodist, I feel an obligation to let you know that the Virginia Conference of the United Methodist Church will hold its annual gathering at the Hampton Roads Convention Center starting June 20.

We are a fairly tame group. Occasionally, we get riled up. If I were you, I wouldn’t fret too much. Navigating a large religious organization is like attempting to turn a battleship in the Norfolk harbor—slug pace.

Since attendance and interest in churches is down across America, you might have missed an overdue tsunami shift in the United Methodist Church. At the church’s General Conference held in May in Charlotte, North Carolina, delegates finally voted to repeal its ban on LGBTQ clergy and now allows clergy to perform same-sex weddings.

In my opinion, this new policy was long overdue. The fifty years of skirmishes within the denomination over this matter significantly divided Methodists causing some to disaffiliate from the church.

As pleased as I am with this decision, and as good as it feels to those who fought the battle, we Methodist still have lots of work to do to turn our battleship.

An article in Christian Century by longtime Methodist leader, Will Willimon, should be required reading for Methodists. In this article, Willimon acknowledges “some good steps” were taken in Charlotte. However, he also states: “but we are too afraid to name certain truths.”

Willimon doesn’t hold back in naming those truths. His points are grounded in how the church loss members related to its LGBTQ stance, the challenges church leaders face in managing this oversized, wobbly body, grim financial realities, massive church attendance decline, and the graying of the denomination.

Despite our efforts, I sense Willimon’s points at my Methodist church where I am a member and an employee.

This year, I will not be attending the conference in Hampton. But I hope that our Virginia Bishop, Sue Haupert-Johnson, her team, and delegates will move us beyond treading water.

While we tread to keep from sinking, I have the following questions:

How is the consolidation of districts in the Virginia conference working? Has this budget shaving move helped?

How many churches in the conference are hanging by their financial fingernails?

If financial instability leads to more church closings, how might these buildings or land holdings be converted into affordable housing across Virginia?

How can the Bishop and her team help local pastors and their congregations address our aging and lack of diversity?

Can Methodist churches in our communities provide leadership to help us address our division and political polarization? Can these church leaders help us to become better listeners and neighbors?

Prior to my church work, I spent 31 years in Virginia’s public schools. Those experiences make me wonder if congregations might benefit from a thorough “self-study/accreditation” process.

This would be similar to the format utilized by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools. I sense congregations who are willing to ask tough internal questions about finances, programming, data, outreach, human resources, and facilities will be shocked at what they learn about their church operations.

Personally, I believe Methodist churches in Virginia have an opportunity in front of them. At this critical point in forming the church’s future, I hope conference leaders and congregations keep this quote from Thomas Edison pasted to their foreheads: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

During their three days in Hampton, it is my hope that Methodist leaders and delegates will not fear the work ahead of us and miss an opportunity.

In his article, Will Willimon reminds Methodists that “hope is not a strategy.” He is correct.

To turn our worn Methodist battleship, we will need to work together, with a sense of urgency.

The denomination can’t withstand another fifty years of treading water.

On the afternoon of Tuesday, May 14, our office administrator, Paula Cadden, handed off a phone call to our associate pastor, Daniel Guenther.

The mother on the phone was calling in desperation. She was behind $2,400 in rent. Her landlord had a court date set for Thursday, May 16. Anxiety, stress, and tears rang in Daniel’s ears as he listened intently to the urgency of the mother’s pre-eviction pleadings.

Daniel made one promise. He would have an answer for the mother by midday on Wednesday.

After Pub Theology on Tuesday evening, Daniel and I talked a bit further about the mother’s situation. Interestingly, our guest at Pub Theology, Richmond radio personality, Mike King, made a point about countering the predictable “no” that we often use as a response to a question with an unexpected “yes.”

On my way home, I stopped by Trinity to secure the building. Before leaving, I sent an email to our church treasurer asking how we might fund the mother’s request. I also emailed two members who have expertise in law and housing.

On Wednesday morning, Daniel, our senior pastor, Brian Siegle, and our kids director, Jen Williams, dove deeper into the mother’s needs. In looking at documentation provided by the mother and the landlord, we had a number of questions. So, we reached back out to the landlord for some clarity. While his answers helped us, we continued to wrestle with our own internal debates.

We talked, thought more, considered our options, and gradually formulated a plan. The plan positioned the church to cover a portion of the debt. We also included a referral to a local nonprofit, ACTS, where the mother would receive counseling on how to more carefully manage her income. Perhaps, more importantly, the landlord approved of our plan, and canceled the court date.

Daniel followed up with the mother, and while she was temporarily relieved, the tough work of making this plan work was still in front of her.

I think our staff felt good about the potential of this plan to make a difference for the mother. And while I believe we learned from the situation, maybe the most important question is— what did we learn to help us prepare for the next person who makes a similar request?

This week, one of the devotion writers from the Upper Room cited this scripture from John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Sometimes, I think the greatest challenges we face in this world is overcoming ourselves.

As I was driving out to Pub Theology on Tuesday afternoon, I heard a story on National Public Radio about the primary in Maryland for a seat in the U. S. Senate. David Trone, a Maryland Congressman, and founder of Total Wine and More, has spent $40 million of his own money to attempt to win the nomination for the senate seat.

On that same Tuesday evening, Trone lost the primary election—$40 million dollars gone.

I thought about our mother who was behind in her rent. I wondered—how many mothers in arrears across America could Congressman David Trone helped with the $40 million he spent on a failed bid for a Senate seat?

Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that our hearts are going to experience trouble in our walk through life.

But how much of that trouble comes from our inability to overcome ourselves?

What does it say about a society where we spend billions on our political campaigns, but continue to be unable to solve our longstanding problems related to mental and physical health, housing, safety, food instability, unemployment, and equity?

Out on Battleground Avenue North in Greensboro, North Carolina, the words “God Can” appear on the outside wall of the sanctuary at Charity Baptist Church.

When we visit our oldest daughter and her family in nearby Summerfield, those words always catch my attention as I drive by while running an errand.

Honestly, there are days in my life when I wonder if “God Can” anymore?

Have we given up on him?

Has God given up on us?

And then a day like Tuesday, May 14 will arrive.

Days like that are an opportunity for a staff to be guided and nudged by God.
God’s nudging led a staff to counter the troubles the mother was facing. Essentially, God led us to respond with the unexpected “yes.”

For those few hours of teamwork, I learned that God Can help us to overcome ourselves.

Time does fly.

I can’t believe it has been one year since the passing of my wife’s mother.

Early on the morning of June 1, 2023 in West Hartford, Connecticut, Liz checked out.

She told that demon cancer where to go.

Liz had too much dignity and grace to really give that evil intruder a good cussing out.

Her family knew this day was coming.

The last few days before June 1 had been tough.

Knowing that you are losing a loved one wears a family down. Her living children experienced this as did the grandchildren who were able to make final visits.

In that year, much has happened.

This old world has become more troubled.

Despite the restless world, in July, thirty plus family members gathered in Falmouth on Cape Cod in Massachusetts to celebrate Liz and her husband, Ken.

Liz and Ken were responsible for introducing us to the Cape. I don’t think the memories created there will ever leave us.

On a beautiful Cape morning, we gathered in Patuisset on a favorite beach to share our love of Liz. Some of her ashes were scattered into the tranquil brine with Bassetts Island as a backdrop.

Then in September, the family had a beautiful celebration of Liz’s life at St. James Episcopal Church in West Hartford, Connecticut.

And as dismal as the world can be some days, there was a special arrival in February. Another great grandchild arrived in San Fransisco. Liz would have loved Ashley and Rob’s new daughter, Bridgette.

I can see Liz carefully studying Bridgette’s beauty. I can hear her sharing Bridgette’s arrival with her friends. I’m sure Liz did this humble bragging in the wild blue yonder with her angel friends too.

With patient perseverance, Betsy, Abby, and Ken have worked to meet the requirements of Connecticut laws, bankers, and lawyers to officially close out the paperwork of Liz’s life.

Earlier in May, Abby flew from California to Richmond for the purpose to sort out framed pictures, photographs, and other family artifacts. One morning, Abby, Betsy, and Ken gathered at our kitchen table sorting through stacks of the snapshots of life.

We’ve continued to live out our lives.

We keep in touch, and I suspect, we all have our Liz moments.

We’ve missed her elegant touch, family stories, and her robust, contagious laugh that always turned to tears at the dinner table for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

On a desk in our kitchen is a digital picture frame.

Some days, Liz will appear in the magic of that technology.

Her smiling face is present. She is surrounded by the family who loved and respected her.

I stumbled upon this quote from James Gates Percival: “There are moments in life that we never forget, which brighten and brighten as time steals away.”

Elizabeth Crosby Cloud was more than a moment in our lives. But our memories of her will only continue to ‘brighten and brighten as time steals away.’ 


I never met my father’s oldest brother, Boyd Pike. But, I think of Boyd every Memorial Day.

Boyd was a Fireman Third Class aboard the USS Sims, a United States Navy destroyer. In early May 1942, my grandparents received the notification from the Navy that no parents want—Boyd was missing in action.

In the Coral Sea, the Sims had been escorting an oiler, the Neosho, when both ships were attacked by Japanese fighter planes. Unfortunately, the Sims could not withstand the fierce attack. The ship sunk. Thirteen survived. Boyd was not one of them.

A year later, the family received official notification from the Navy declaring Boyd dead. Boyd’s parents and nine siblings are now deceased. Yet, the nieces and nephews in the family make a point of not forgetting Boyd’s sacrifice.

In an United States military cemetery in the Philippines, there is a grave marker for Boyd. In the cemetery, at the family’s home church, Mt. Pleasant United Methodist in Guilford County, North Carolina, a gravestone honors Boyd.

I don’t expect in my life time to make an excursion to the Coral Sea or the cemetery in the Philippines to honor Boyd. Yet, I hold in deep respect Boyd and the United States military personnel who gave their lives to preserve our freedoms.

In January 2024, with friends from college, my wife and I had the privilege of making our second trip to Hawaii. During this visit, we made a point of taking our friends to the Pearl Harbor National Memorial and to the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific.

Each memorial is distinct in their offerings to the public. At Pearl Harbor, the displays capture what took place on the morning of the attack. But for me, the most moving part of Pearl Harbor is the boat ride to the USS Arizona Memorial.

Before boarding the boat, an atmosphere of quiet reverence hushes all visitors. That restraint is maintained throughout the visit. At the Arizona’s memorial, the stillness is broken by the American flag flapping in the breeze, and the solemn voice of a docent carefully recanting what the crew of the Arizona experienced on the fateful morning.

At the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific, a quiet reverence is also present. Here, the setting is in the crater of an extinct volcano. The cemetery is nicknamed the “punchbowl.”

The meticulously maintained grounds frame out the grand stairs with their majestic panels. These panels form eight courts. Inscribed on the panels are the 18,095 names of the missing from the battles in the Pacific during World War II.

At the top of the stairs, visitors will find another area of displays capturing the battles in the Pacific. Rendered in mosaic tiles, I found the Coral Sea with the posted days that the attacks took place in May 1942.

The walk to the area of the overlook is worth it. At this point, visitors look down over Honolulu with the blue Pacific Ocean forming a sun sparkled backdrop.

When my wife and I returned from our Hawaiian trip, we started to work on our plans for a visit to New Orleans. My main purpose for making this journey was to visit The National World War II Museum.

On Thursday, May 9, we spent our entire day at this museum. The museum’s location in New Orleans is tied to the Higgins boats. These landing craft were built in the city. They were used to transport our troops to the beaches of Normandy on D-Day.

The museum is massive. Curators missed no details in capturing World War II from its beginning until the final victory. To take in the museum in a day, we had to hustle.

Yet, our quick, but focused pace allowed us to appreciate the hearts and souls, and sacrifices of all Americans during the war. Their determination is well documented.

No question that films, short videos, and photographic displays add much to the telling of the World War II story. However, my wife and I were touched by multiple recorded interviews with our military personnel who gave firsthand accounts about their experiences during the war.

I wonder what my Uncle Boyd’s story would have been if he had survived?

As an imperfect American, one thing is very clear to me— we can’t allow ourselves to forget the stories from World War II.

At various points around the museum are quotes from famous leaders. Inscribed in stone, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about this quote from George C. Marshall: “The soldier’s heart, the soldier’s spirit, the soldier’s soul are everything.”

This Memorial Day, and those in my future, I hope I never fail to understand that my existence is forever linked to the heart, spirit, and soul of those soldiers and their sacrifice.

Author’s note: On Monday, May 13, 2024, this letter was sent to the editors of the Washington Post. On Thursday, May 16, I was notified by an editor that the letter was under consideration for publication. I had to answer a few questions, and then review an edited copy of the letter. On Friday, May 17, I received a final draft of the letter to review and approve. That final draft was published in the Saturday, May 18 edition of the Washington Post. The final edited version appears after the original letter I sent.

As a retired Virginia public schools’ educator, I was disappointed to read that the school board for Shenandoah County Public Schools has voted to reinstate Confederates’ names to two of its schools.

This is another example of how the fear of losing touch with the past pushed this school board to reverse a logical decision made by a previous Shenandoah County school board in 2020.

But of course, fear can prevent a school board from thinking logically. Only one member of the school board, Kyle Gutshall, thought logically and voted against reinstating the Confederates’ names.

I wonder how many of the conservative influencers in the county who orchestrated this change actually have students in the school system?

The school board stated the cost to install new signage will be covered by private donations. Will these same private donors step forward when the school system has a budget crisis with a dead HVAC system in a school?

School systems in Virginia are struggling to find and retain skilled teachers. After this decision, why would any prospective teacher consider applying to Shenandoah County Public Schools?

I’m sure the teachers in the Shenandoah system are deeply appreciative of the extra level of pressure that has been placed upon them with this regressive decision.

Since this school board is so intent to preserve the past, perhaps they would benefit from a group reading of Isabel Wilkerson’s The Warmth Of Other Suns. Yet, I’m uncertain the harsh truths documented in this book could even jolt their insensitive stubbornness.

I appreciate this quote from American writer, E. B. White: ‘The only sense that is common in the long run, is the sense of change and we all instinctively avoid it.”

Public school systems that instinctively avoid needed changes will continue to find difficult challenges in the future.

One of the most difficult of those challenges will be dealing with the morale of every student, parent, and teacher who put their trust in the school board to make a reasonable decision for the good of all, not just those who fear losing the past.

The edited letter as it appeared in the Washington Post on May 18, 2024.

As a retired Virginia public schools educator, I was disappointed to read that the school board for Shenandoah County has voted to reinstate Confederate names to two of its schools. The decision itself is foolish, reversing a logical decision made by a previous school board. And it made me wonder how many of the conservative influencers in the county who orchestrated this change actually have students in the school system?

The school board stated the cost to install new signage bearing the schools’ reinstated names will be covered by private donations. Will these same private donors step forward when the school system has a budget crisis, or a dead HVAC system in a school leaves students learning in freezing or sweltering conditions?

School systems in Virginia are struggling to find and retain skilled teachers. After this decision, why would any prospective teacher consider applying to Shenandoah County Public Schools if this is what the school board prioritizes? And how must teachers in the Shenandoah system feel about the extra level of pressure that has been placed upon them with this regressive decision?

E. B. White once wrote: ‘The only sense that is common in the long run, is the sense of change and we all instinctively avoid it.” Public school systems that instinctively avoid needed changes will continue to find difficult challenges in the future.

Among the challenges the Shenandoah County School Board has created for itself is how to earn back the trust of every student, parent and teacher who looks to the school board to make reasonable decisions for the good of all, not just those who fear losing one version of the past.

William Avery Pike, Jr., Richmond

Historic Vote

As a lifelong member of the United Methodist Church, I’m relieved with the news from Charlotte, North Carolina.

On May 1, multiple news outlets reported that members attending the General Conference of the United Methodist Church “by a 692-51 vote, passed several rules without debate, including overturning both its ban on gay clergy and the penalties for holding same-sex marriages.”

From my perspective, it’s about time for the church to initiate this change.

This emotional issue has resulted in many Methodist churches in America leaving the denomination through a disaffiliation process. Methodists aren’t the only mainline denomination to be walloped with challenges related to human sexuality.

For many years, data has a revealed a steady decline in church attendance across America. While it is true that the pandemic added to the woes of churches, churches were struggling before COVID-19 hit. Declining attendance, shrinking budgets, and deteriorating facilities are among the challenges experienced by churches that resulted in closures.

In Virginia, I had the privilege of attending three annual conferences. At each annual conference a handful of churches were closed because of challenges related to attendance and finances.

Even if the reorganization plan gives relief to the church’s stance on human sexuality, challenges related to attendance, finance, and facilities are not going away.

With a decline in church attendance and religion in America, the release of a January 2024 report from the Pew Research Center has an interesting finding.

The Pew report found that the “religious ‘Nones’ are now the largest religiously unaffiliated cohort in America at 28%. The ‘Nones’ are larger than Catholics 23% and evangelical Protestants 24%.”

I wonder how many of the ‘Nones’ are from the LGBTQ community, or individuals who didn’t grow up in the church, or who had an unpleasant church experience? Also, I wonder if the Methodist church or any other mainline denomination can find ways to bring the ‘Nones’ back to church?

For the last twelve years, I’ve had the privilege of working at the Methodist church where my family and I are members. With this work, and in my previous career in public education, I’ve come to realize that churches like schools are interesting places as they both center upon working with people.

I find church leaders and their congregations to be good people who care deeply about their church. However, these good people are often reluctant or incapable of making needed changes. This inability to change has hurt churches more than they realize.

Whether related to human sexuality, declining attendance, drops in revenue, and deteriorating facilities, I don’t think we’ve seen the end of church closings. And there is part of me that wonders if churches would benefit from undergoing an accreditation process. Schools, fire/police departments, non-profits, and some professions are familiar with this practice.

I’m curious to learn if the challenges that churches are experiencing could have been avoided or corrected with a rigorous “self-study.” This diligent internal examination would require churches to carefully assess their programming, personnel, finances, facilities, outreach, and communication.
Even if an accreditation process was available to church leaders and their congregations, I’m not certain they would pursue taking a hard look at themselves. It is easier to develop a strategic plan that collects dust rather than asking difficult internal questions about your operations.

However, if churches have any desire to slow their downward spiral, leaders and their congregations must work quickly to assess their fiscal, mental, physical, and spiritual health status.

Our current church times are in sharp contrast to the boom of the 50s and 60s. Then the mentality was if we build a church—they will come.

Within easy driving distance to our church are five other Methodist churches. Today, any of those congregations could be nervously thinking— ok, we’ve built this church, but do we have capacity to sustain it?

In her book, Factory Man, author, Beth Macy, wrote about John Bassett III, and the challenges he faced in America’s furniture industry. I love this advice from Mr. Bassett— “be willing to change and improve repeatedly.”

If the United Methodist Church has any hope
of being around for fifty more years, church leaders and congregations must “be willing to change and improve repeatedly.”

Failure to change beyond the Charlotte vote guarantees two things: the ‘Nones’ will continue to grow, and more Methodist churches will close.

Yes, I’m encouraged by the Charlotte vote.

But now, the real work must start.

An impatient world will be watching to see if Methodists can truly become more inclusive.
I hope we can.

Post Conference Reflections

I am a lifelong Methodist.

But, I did not attend the General Conference of the United Methodist Church that was held in Charlotte, North Carolina from April 23 – May 3, 2024.

Nor did I carefully follow any pre-Conference wrangling, or any daily news reports about what was taking place at the conference.

Personally, I wasn’t optimistic that we Methodist could agree to settle our differences found in the Book of Discipline related to ordaining gay clergy and clergy having permission to perform same-sex marriages.

On May 1, multiple news outlets reported that members attending the General Conference of the United Methodist Church “by a 692-51 vote, passed several rules without debate, including overturning both its ban on gay clergy and the penalties for holding same-sex marriages.”

From my perspective, it’s about time for the church to initiate this change. And, I can’t believe that making this change took over fifty years.

Now, the tough work must begin.

No one can deny that the COVID-19 pandemic walloped churches. But the truth is that churches were in trouble prior to the pandemic. Attendance was down, financial giving slipping, and facilities were feeling the impact of neglect. Add to this to the struggle to understand a changing world related to LGBTQ communities, and churches were in trouble.

For Methodist, even with this historic vote, we have lots of work to do to attempt to slow the multiple challenges that church leaders and congregations face. Personally, I don’t sense we are done with churches closing.

In her book, Factory Man, author, Beth Macy, wrote about John Bassett III, and the challenges he faced in America’s furniture industry. I love this advice from Mr. Bassett— “be willing to change and improve repeatedly.”

If the United Methodist Church has any hopeof being around for fifty more years, church leaders and congregations must “be willing to change and improve repeatedly.”

I’m not sure if Methodist leaders and their congregations realize how much the church has been hurt by the paralyzing inability to change.

In David Halberstam’s book The Teammates, he writes about a 1997 decision made by the management of the Boston Red Sox to let go a long time coach and team legend, Johnny Pesky. This wasn’t a popular decision in Boston.

Five years later, the Red Sox were sold. One of the first things the new owner did was to bring back Johnny Pesky.

Halberstam wrote the following when he reflected about the general manager of the team who had dismissed Johnny Pesky: “It was almost as if his strategy was designed to separate himself from the team’s rich history and lore, as if the past was more of a burden than an enhancement, and that in order to build for the future, he had to destroy the past.”

As the Methodist church looks to its future, it must not bury its past. Rather the church must understand its past to learn how to shape the future.

We Methodist are at a critical point. If we continue to mire ourselves in “that’s the way we have always done it mentality,” we’ll miss an opportunity to connect with people who are searching for a community.

I’m not a big believer in banners that adorn the front lawns of many churches. I think a banner is a blur to a driver zipping by a church.

Yet, out on the lawn of Trinity, is a banner that reads: You Are Loved. Find Your Community Here.

Methodist— you, me, we, us are overdue to love all in our community.

The third verse of Psalm 23 states: “He restores my soul.”

Isn’t this an opportunity through love to “restore our souls”?

Isn’t this an opportunity that we can’t afford to miss?