Weary Wind

March is here.

I can confirm that for you.

On the return leg of a recent Saturday morning run, the wind was blowing directly into me. It was relentless. Only a couple of times did it give me a break.

The wind blew over trash cans, scattered flower petals from early blooming trees, and the chill it brought had robins searching for warmth.

In real life, I felt like the March winds had been pushing against me too.

My wife and I are still working to assist a dear family friend.

 Our friend had to make a difficult decision regarding a relationship. The relationship wasn’t working. Our friend made a wise move and ended it.  We’re trying not to dwell on the collapse of the relationship. Instead, we are attempting to assist our friend in making the transition to move forward.

My work at church is making me restless. Our annual stewardship campaign has not hit its projected target. I think we are heading into budget cut territory.

Additionally, some recent changes in programming have agitated segments of our congregation. They are grumbling and organizing their voices.

I do some volunteer work with the Virginia United Methodist Conference. I sit on the Board of Higher Education as the property chair for the Wesley Foundation campus facilities. That environment is changing too. 

On Friday, I responded to an e-mail request from a campus minister. Unfortunately,  my response revealed my lousy attitude. The request was simple— send us our allocated funding for our property projects. 

My lousy attitude can be attributed to a visit to another campus ministry on Thursday. The Thursday visit revealed a campus ministry that is struggling. There is a world of difference between the ministry that made a funding request and the ministry where the template for success isn’t in place.

Wrongly, I aimed my agitation at the successful ministry’s request. My e-mail upset some nice people. I am ready to resign if asked.

Oh, March, you are a collision.

 Your winds swirl with a winter that doesn’t want to let go, and a spring trying to push winter out.

Life is often a collision too. 

The winds of life are a contrast. 

Sometimes,  the winds push us appropriately along our way, and other times those winds push us back, push us down. 

That push back creates a tension, a weariness.

How much more can I take of that wind pushing me back, pushing me down?

I suppose that should be part of my daily conversation with God. 

Two verses in Isaiah 40 (30-31) come to mind:  “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”

I think we all have our tired and weary moments no matter our age.

But, even though I know what is in front of me is a difficult challenge, I’m going to hold out for the good Lord’s hope. 

And hope that He can renew my strength for what lies ahead.